Childhood Emotional Abuse - Close Cousins With PTSD By Lisa J. Lehr

Childhood emotional abuse doesn't often get the attention it deserves. It gets less attention than, say, physical abuse or sexual abuse or even PTSD. Yet it can be just as damaging (if not more so) as the other types of abuse, and is more closely related to PTSD than you might realize.

Because of the way memories are stored and retrieved in our brains, anything that even vaguely reminds us of something in our past-any picture, sound, smell, emotion, thought, or physical sensation that resembles what happened-can bring back the entire experience of that memory. Painful past experiences that have no real relation, just a perceived similarity, to present events can continue to control our behavior.

This is not unlike the way people become affected by post-traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is an anxiety disorder resulting from a traumatic event, most often combat, physical assault, or natural disaster. With PTSD, the traumatized person develops a heightened startle response and mood changes. PTSD victims are vulnerable to flashbacks, which are essentially overpowering memories of the traumatic event coming back at unexpected moments.

PTSD victims will also try to avoid thinking about the event; if you know anyone with the disorder, you've undoubtedly noticed that they're reluctant to talk about what happened. The "hidden" aspect of their suffering makes it worse, and all of this makes it difficult for a PTSD sufferer to function normally in normal life situations.

Granted, it might be a bit disrespectful of PTSD sufferers to suggest that, say, being yelled at and called names as a child is equivalent to being raped or seeing your comrades maimed and killed in battle. Still, the process is similar: in both cases, the change is biological and relatively permanent.

Adult survivors of childhood emotional abuse have a huge collection of painful memories that can be triggered by ordinary events. People say things or do things that get interpreted as personal attacks, no matter how far off the mark that interpretation may be. So, in a self-perpetuating cycle of false "selfhood," the survivor of childhood emotional abuse will behave in ways that get others to treat them in a way that matches their distorted self-image.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, in The Power of Intention-Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way, calls this a "maxim for life": "You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you."

Do you see yourself or someone you know in this? If so, help is available.

Lisa J. Lehr is a writer, copywriter, and Internet marketer specializing in alternative health, pet care, and self-help. She holds a degree in Biology and is interested in the study of the human brain and how it controls our behavior.

Visit http://helpineedahug.com to download a free report entitled "A Hug: the Miracle Drug" and opt in for empowering weekly messages. An e-book to help the adult survivor of childhood emotional abuse recover his or her self-esteem is available for purchase.

Are We Praising Too Much? By Hannah Du Plessis

When you attend any class today, you often hear the teacher say "Well done!" or "that's excellent work" or "Susan is listening so nicely" or "Thank you, Johnny for doing such neat and tidy work."

Is praise a good thing or is it a form of control? Who benefits by praise?

Praising kids would certainly work in the short run as they are hungry for attention and praise. However, using it too often can have damaging effects. Kids need our approval and they need love. They need support and encouragement. But praise shouldn't be used too lavishly. Here's why:

Verbal rewards used to reinforce good behaviour has less to do with the emotional needs of the child you "reward" than your need for convenience. It is therefore used purely to manipulate. The teacher is then exploiting the child's dependence on the need for approval, and is therefore taking advantage of the child's needs to turn it into their favour. Is this not a form of bullying?

Apart from that, children become reliant on our decisions, our evaluations about what is good and what is bad, rather than learning it for themselves. They become "praise junkies." The more we praise the more kids need it. Children who learn this way are less likely to work something out for themselves and to persist in difficult tasks as they become dependent on approval every step of the way, and lose interest if they don't get it.

Making kids dependent on praise steals their sense of accomplishment as they start doing things to please others instead of finding things out for themselves. Once kids are dependent on positive comments, they feel pressured in keeping it up. The focus is on creating positive comments instead of the work at hand. Their interest declines as they have to concentrate on keeping the positive comments going, instead of satisfying their natural curiosity, It stifles growth, independence, interest and pleasure.

Consider this: Susan is sharing her lunch with a poor student. Would you rather she do it because it is the right thing to do, or because she gets praised for it? What does she learn by being praised?

Would you rather your children find a passion for your subject, or learn to depend on approval?

Hannah du Plessis is an ex music teacher living in New Zealand with her husband and two boys. She is working as a Psychometric Testing Expert, helping employers, recruitment specialists, career advisers and Sales Professionals finding people with unique talents and gifts that match the kind of person they are looking for.

Personality Test Breakthrough - Discover Energy Profiling By Sandy Bidinger

I bet we all have taken those personality tests in school or for a prospective employer that is supposed to help us, and them, to better understand our natural tendencies and strengths. It can be valuable and fun information to have but kind of dry and impractical. What do you really take away from those tests that you can apply and use to improve your quality of life? A lot of the time I learn and judge those parts of myself as things I wish I could change. I often look at the qualities of the other types and yearn to be more like them and that's not very supportive. Usually, I can identify with the overall group which the test assesses most reflects my personality type, but knowing that doesn't really help me figure out much about going through life or accepting myself for the way I am.

Recently I discovered a way of profiling my personality so unlike any other I've ever known that I had to create this article to spread the word...it's that life-changing!

I read this book It's Just My Nature! by Carol Tuttle and I discovered such profound revelations about why I am the way I am and how embracing and living my true nature is one of the greatest gifts I could give myself.

I am a seeker of personal development and what interests me is how to better myself and how to improve my relationships with others. Psychology and human behavior fascinates me and I think everyone should have the benefit of feeling validated in who they truly are and also have the insight of learning the strengths and weaknesses inherent in their nature.

The system is called Energy Profiling.

It breaks personality profiles down into four distinct "Types" and uniquely relates them to actual elements and movements in nature.

Type 1: Nitrogen, Upward, Light with a gift for Ideas, essence of Lightness

Type 2: Oxygen, Fluid, Flowing with a gift for Details, essence of Connectedness

Type 3: Hydrogen, Active, Reactive with a gift for Action, essence of Sureness

Type 4: Carbon, Constant, Still with a gift for Perfecting, essence of Stillness

Each of us leads with one of these Types as a dominant quality and tends towards another as a close secondary quality. But each of the 4 Types are in us all and this system perfectly illustrates and describes them in such amazing detail that you will not believe how well you will be able to understand and recognize yourself.

You rarely see a personality test go into such detail as describing these tendencies.

Behavior Tendencies:

* Relationships, Social, Timeliness

* Work, Money, Physical Activity

Body Language:

* Walking, Sitting/Standing, Voice/Language

* Doodling, Personal Space, Interior Design

Physical Features:

* Skin and Skin Texture

* Face Shape, Cheeks, Nose, Eyebrows, Eyes, Hands

Interactions and Expressions:

* Learn how your energy Type affects others

* Learn how to create a successful relationship with each Type...the Dos and Don'ts

* Learn each Type's natural gifts and talents, how they process information, their leadership tendencies

* Learn what common expressions each Type often hears from others that conflicts with their natural movements

* Discover common challenges that can occur when you express your leading Type too dominantly

In the short time that I have become aware of this information, I have found that I am now just naturally noticing and identifying these traits in the people around me and am using the knowledge to improve the quality of my relationships.

The real gift is that you will learn to embrace and appreciate even those personality traits that you have judged to be faults, weaknesses, conflicts or annoyances.

This is simply some of most enlightening, supportive and useful information that I could recommend for anyone's personal development.

Can you grasp how helpful having the knowledge of your Energy Profile can be as a spouse, a parent, an employer or employee? I actually have the ability now to quickly study a person's face and body language to get a pretty clear picture of their Type and anticipate their natural behaviors.

Make the choice to open up to this new awareness so you can embrace, understand and live your true nature too.

Visit my website here It's a practical guide to learning the Universal and Spiritual Laws that will empower your personal development growth. It emphasizes the science of Energy, the Law Of Attraction, Emotional Freedom Techniques and the pursuit of expanded consciousness.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy By Julia Barnard

Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) emerged in the 1950s when psychologists became interested in whether thought processes were learned in the same way as behaviour is. It stemmed from behaviour therapy which focused only on behaviour. The common precept behind CBT is that the way we think has a major influence on our subsequent emotions and behaviours. It is possible however to change the way with think and as such bring about emotional and behavioural change. Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) is just one type of cognitive behaviour therapy.

REBT was pioneered by Albert Ellis who personally used the techniques he taught his clients during his own long life (he died in 2007 aged 93). Essentially, people display both rational and irrational thoughts. Too many irrational thoughts can impact on life, causing unhappiness, anxiety, depression and so on. REBT aims to teach clients the difference between rational and irrational thinking. Irrational thinking is thinking that essentially makes little logical sense, or fails to stand up to the evidence. 'Bad things always happen to me', 'I must not fail' are examples of irrational thinking.

Although irrational thoughts may have evolved over years and stem from childhood, REBT does not focus on the past. Rather it works with what is going on for the client right now and aims to help people accept themselves and others as they are, including their imperfections.

REBT therapists follow an ABC approach. A refers to the activating event that causes concern for a person (e.g. standing on a ladder). B is the belief held by the person about A (I am going to fall to my death). C is the consequence of that belief (anxiety, shaking, avoiding ladders). The important point is that it is a person's belief that led to the consequence, not the event itself. Another person may have no problems standing on a ladder, as they know they are safe.

Having understood the link between beliefs and the subsequent consequences, the therapist works to help the client recognise that their beliefs are irrational and should be challenged. This is known as disputing. The client may undergo many types of activities to recognise that their thinking is illogical. The person fearing the ladder comes to recognise the belief that they will die is an irrational one.

Finally the client learns to replace their old, irrational beliefs with more realistic ones that enable more appropriate behaviours. As such they have changed the consequence. 'I can be safe on the ladder, I just have to be careful.' allows the person to use a ladder without fear. The client would engage in behaviours that reinforce their new beliefs.

Once the technique is learned, the client is able to use it in their life ever onwards. They recognise the impact thoughts have on their subsequent feelings and behaviours

Copyright Julia Barnard 2009

Julia Barnard is a professional counsellor living in Adelaide, Australia. She provides an online counselling service through her website http://www.makethechange.com.au, which offers counselling at a time and place that suits you. Julia also writes articles and tips for the website aimed at enhancing wellbeing and promoting good mental health.

Nature Vs Nurture - A Sociological Approach to Feral, Isolated, and Institutionalized Children By Howard Hehrer

A common question related to sociology deals with the nature of the human being versus the way it is raised. Does one know if he is a boy or a girl upon birth, or does he make this distinction based on the actions and words of those around him? How does prison affect the functionality of a person once he is released to the world? These questions are strongly related to the nature versus nurture - does a human enter the world with basic human function, or does he develop these functions as a result of those around him.

One topic sociologists may study is feral children. These are children that were deserted at a very young age, with death usually the intention of the parents, but were rather raised and groomed by animals. Sociologists found that children raised by animals acquired the instincts and behaviors of the species that raised them. One example of this occurred in the 1700s, when a feral child known as "the wild boy of Aveyron" was discovered by scientists of the day. He was found in France in 1798, and it was observed that he walked on all fours, did not indicate pain related to cold temperatures, and pounced on small animals - devouring them raw in ravenous fashion. Although most sociologists will discard the significance of feral children because of the sparseness of cases, it still teaches us a lesson that children must learn how to act at a young age. This essential time of youth is when children develop many essential social behaviors.

A slightly more common study is on isolated children. These are children that were raised by one person or a small group of persons in an isolated area with minimal or no contact to a typical society. One girl, Isabelle, was raised by her deaf, mute mother in the attic of her grandfather. Upon being discovered at the age of 6, it was found that she could not talk, and rather relied on gestures to communicate with her mother. She also had a disease called rickets as a result of an inadequate diet and a lack of sunshine. This basically made her legs useless. Her behavior towards strangers, men especially, was like a wild animal. She treated them with fear and hostility - and could only make noise in the way of strange croaks. Initially she scored nearly zero on an IQ test - but because Isabelle was discovered at such a young age, she was able to reach the learning level expected from her age in two years. It is possible that results of isolation can be reversed if the child is younger than twelve. The primary problem, however, was a lack of a language, which is basic to all human interaction. All other interaction can be divided into sub categories to vocal communication.

These first two studies, isolated and feral children, can be viewed through one of Charles Horton Cooley's theories on human interaction. Cooley, who lived in the late 1800s, created a theory that summed up how human development occurs, capturing the theory in the concept of 'the looking glass self'. This theory had three primary elements: we imagine how we appear to those around us, we interpret others' reactions, and we develop a self concept. The basic gist of it is that we look at those around us, and base our appearance and social interactions on what they do and what they expect. If a feral child is raised by animals, he is going to acquire the attributes of those animals. Likewise, an isolated child will base his actions on other isolated individuals or no one, and will develop little or no basic interaction skill.

Still more common than isolated or feral children is institutionalized children. Two or three centuries ago, orphanages were much different than they are now. Children were raised with little or no care on a strict schedule. On top of this, children were often beaten, ragged, and denied food. As a result, children coming from orphanages tended to have difficulty establishing close bonds with others, and have lower IQs. In an account of a good Iowa orphanage in the 1930s, children were raised in the nursery until about six months. They were placed in cribs that had tall sides, effectively limiting vision to the world around them. No toys were hung from the cribs, not mother held them closely. The interaction they did get was limited to nurses who changed diapers, bedding, and provided them medication. Although everyone assumed that mental retardation was a "he was just born that way" issue, two sociologists investigated and followed the lives of the children who were raised in this Iowa orphanage. H. M. Skeels and H. B. Dye began to understand that a lack of mental stimulation was depriving these children of the basic human interaction skills they needed to be effective members of society. In a study, they took thirteen children who were obviously retarded and assigned them a retarded woman who would look after them. They also chose twelve children who would be raised in the orphanage the usual way, and tested both groups for IQ. The first group was noted to develop an intense relationship with their respective 'mothers', and received much more

attention than their counterparts. While all of the studied children were still retarded, it was noted that the first group's IQs spiked by a jaw-dropping average of 28 points. In an equally startling statistic, it was found that the other group's average dropped by an average of 30 IQ points. This study demonstrated the importance of human interaction at a young age.

A final lesson can be taken from deprived animals. These are animals that were stripped from their mother at a young age and raised in isolation. A famous study regarding this topic was conducted by Harry and Margaret Harlow, who raised a baby monkey in isolation. They constructed two 'mothers' for their monkey, one which was a wire frame with a nipple on it from which the monkey could nurse, and one that was covered in soft fabric. They found that even though the first mother provided nourishment, the baby would cling to the soft mother when frightened, showing that the monkey felt more comfortable through intimate physical contact - or cuddling.

When the monkey was introduced to a monkey community, he was rejected, and had no concept of how normal monkey civilization was structured. He knew neither how to play normally with the other monkeys, nor how to engage in sexual intercourse, despite several feeble attempts.

Upon conducting this study with female monkeys, they found that those that did become pregnant became vicious mothers - they struck their babies, kicked them, or crushed them against the floor. These were monkeys who were raised in this isolated environment for years, and had no chance of integration to society. Other monkeys were observed to overcome these disabilities with increasingly positive results: a corresponding relationship with the amount of time spent in isolation. Monkeys isolated for three to six months were relatively easily integrated, while monkeys isolated for years suffered irreversible effects. When applied to humans, we understand that social interaction is key to a socially efficient product.

In short, society makes us human. Babies do not naturally develop into adults, and social ideas are not transferred via DNA. Although the body may grow, isolation victimizes them to be little more than mere animals. In fact, a lack of language skill results in an inability to even grasp the relations between people - such as father, mother, teacher and friend. In order to develop into an adult, children must be surrounded by people who care for them. This process called "socialization" shows that we are crafted by those around us.

Free Will and Determinism By Shanaz A L

The existence of free will always goes hand in hand with determinism. Free will is defined as a choice that is free and independent thereby makes it a voluntary decision. From a philosophical aspect, it is a personal choice which is expressed by human that is not merely determined by physical or divine factors. Stimulated by rain, a frog croaks, or a rooster crows at dawn. We know that the frog and the rooster have no choice in the matter as their behaviors are environmentally determined. Thus, their actions are instinctive and they act according to the environmental cues. Humans, on the other hand, have much greater behavioral flexibility and thus are able to adapt to the environment. The key word here is 'adaptation', as humans are always engaged in it to avoid extinction.

The presence of genes does not by itself promise that a certain trait will be manifested, but coupled with the combination of the right and proper environment is crucial for the innate tendencies to be fully expressed. These environmental factors take into account of not only of natural surroundings but also of the individuals' social and culture.

In behaviorism or behavioral psychology, the key element is that all behaviors are acquired through conditioning. Through the interaction with environment, the conditioning occurs. Therefore, behaviorism places no consideration of internal mental states but focuses on the study of behavior in a systematic and observable manner. Free will is the ability to choose and it implies that it is something that occurs within a person besides the influences of deterministic elements such as heredity and environment.

A person may choose to behave in one way or the other by his free will despite inheritance and all environmental effects. Free will thus places choice as something that is real, not just an illusion and each of us can cause a certain behavior. The reconciliation between free will and determinism brings 'soft determinism' and 'compatibilist.' According to Donald Hebb, soft determinism holds that free will comprises of behaviors that are also dependent on inheritance and past environmental history. This contradicts the conventional idea of free will that is thinks of a choice made is free from the influence of past events.

Based on John Broadus Watson, an American psychologist who believed strongly that psychology should involve the study of the visible behavior, he basically left the part where the mental processes that occur within a person that is also important in the study of free will. His views on behaviorism are at its most extreme. Human behavior is always influenced by factors evidently which include biological and environmental. A creative decision which is made that is free of the influences from these factors is called free will.

To exclusively separate free will and determinism in two groups help us understand what each is defined against the other. But to understand life and the interaction of humans with each other and the choices that are brought about, free will and determinism must be assessed both at the same time. For as long as a person is unaware that he or she is controlled by the biological and environmental, the more that he or she is controlled or constricted by these elements. And thus every choice and decision that is made comes thus from a determined pasts or experiences. For example, an 18 year-old female who has a controlling father may act in subtle ways that show her rebellion to go against her father, when he does not allow her to go out with her friends at night. Her actions can be rooted in free will or determinism or a combination of both.

The idea of a certain action comes from either free will or determinism exclusively is naive as she can act for that sole purpose to go against the father, as most adolescent do. Or she can act in a more adult way by showing that she can be trusted or held responsible by her actions and thus making the relationship with the father a more effective one. The environmental factor in this case, which is the father's controlling nature triggers a respond to the daughter.

To include a biological factor now we use the same situation except for the personality of the daughter, who is very sensitive in nature and has been diagnosed with depression. Research has shown that some people are born with a certain chemical imbalance in the brain that causes them to be more easily depressed than others. So, when this person acts in the same situation as the example above to go out at night with her friends, she may feel that her controlling father does not understand her or he is set on his decisions that she is no to be trusted.

Thereby, his reactions of not allowing her to go out may cause her to react in ways that are unique to her and her predisposition. She may just decide to abandon the idea of going out, and miserably stay in her room and get depressed. She may feel that her father's actions are justified as he is being protective of her or that he does not trust her enough. So, free will is in question as she is constrained by a biological factor which is the imbalance in the brain chemicals, causing her behavior. But to a certain point, the environment too influences her nature to become more depress such as the father constant anger or mistrusting attitudes which will exacerbate the depression. Thus, the environment works together with the biological aspects to induce a certain outcome in the behavior of the person.

In both examples, by looking at the behaviorist point of view, we don't see the internal conflicts that go on in the individual as we focus on the physical aspects of the daughter's reaction to the same controlling father. Psychodynamic approach which is based of Sigmund Freud tells us that the reactions of the daughter to the controlling father are influenced by id, ego and superego. This perspective focuses on the role of unconscious mind, experiences of early childhood and interpersonal relationships to explain the behavior of a person. Free will can't be applied when there are the factors in the past that work to produce a certain kind of behavior. But if the person realizes that these factors are at work, then at least, in this frame of mind, she can transcend the experience by making a new decision with respect to the reaction of a controlling father. This way, at the background of so many deterministic factors, her awareness will take her to a new position in her response to her father.

Free will and determinism, looked upon from the angle of behaviorism, psychodynamical and biological perspectives, brings us to notice that free will; acts in conscious choice that is not determined by compulsion of heredity, circumstance or environment, is not possible if there is no awareness of the controlling deterministic factors in the first place. To transcend the influences of the past, the biological make-up, and all the cultural and social impacts on a person, the awareness that these things are working to influence the choices a person makes, is important, for determinism to be broken down. And thus, allowing a creative choice to be made creatively, the closest the experience to free will anyone can have.

Move Over For the New Kid on the Block - The Pathological Gamer! By Lance Winslow

Academic Psychologists are always doing research on current topics that effect the mind, and overall society, and now they've come up with a new clinical term to describe those who are addicted to playing video games. It turns out that their brain scans and research prove that people really are "addicted" and that their bran shows that this is true.

Interestingly enough, South Korea now has over 100 clinics for those who have been labeled as addicted video gamers, and there was actually a death there when someone played for so many hours that they did not eat, sleep or drink and they perished with their controller in their hands - no kidding.

These academic social scientists and clinical psychologists working with neurologist proved through fMRI brain scans that this addiction is similar to gambling addiction rush, as it hits the brain's rewards centers, giving participant a rush like drug addictions do. The folks in the test group also exhibited physical behavior in line with addictive behavior.

Now, it has been determined that at least one in ten kids in the US is said to be addicted to video games, at least one ISU Child Psychologists believes. This brings up the age old question; is all this technology really good for us. And it begs the question if text messaging, twitter and other computer activities are causing similar serious issues.

In addition one has to ask what happens with the future of video games becomes even more real and addictive? Are our kids safe, will we have rehab centers for this like they do now in South Korea? And do we need a new rating system for these video games like PG-13 (A+) for highly addictive? Think on this.

Lance Winslow enjoys community philanthropy - Lance Winslow likes small business. Lance Winslow has also been involved in the Oil Industry; http://www.oilchangeguys.com/aboutus.shtml/.

The Psychology of the Financial Crisis By Patrick W. Anis

I would like to explore one element of the equation: the psychology of the financial trouble. It may be argued that the primary emotion behind the mess was greed, followed by instant gratification and fear. In other words, some people got caught up in the emotion that drives the thought of "we must buy now to flip and resell at a profit, while we can and before it is too late."

I have found that almost all of our dysfunction and pain in life is derived from losing balance and being trapped in a time zone: the past, the present or the future. For example, the woman that refuses to love again because she still loves someone from the past or fears being hurt again; the man that gets so caught up in the present moment of temptation that he steals or cheats on his wife and; the man that hoards and refuses to spend any money because he fears there won't be enough in the future.

All of us do and will again make mistakes - some of which hurt not only ourselves but others around us. The key is to learn from those mistakes. When we take a sincere look into our heart we can discover what it is that drove us to the actions we took. Taking stock is being accountable. I recall about eighteen months ago a discussion with a friend who told me that she was buying her third home -as a first home buyer - and she was not planning to live in any of them. This was obviously a lie and fraudulent. When I questioned her and openly told her that this was wrong, she replied that the lender told her that "everyone does it." But the fact that everyone is breaking the law or acting out of greed does not justify a wrong action. She did not listen to me and I guess that now she is paying the price. One might argue that to a certain extent she was a victim of the added greed and lies of others who supported and promoted her actions; she said, "If I knew how easy it is to buy houses, I would have done it years ago."

But greed, instant gratification and even selfishness are never limited to finances. Just this past week, I issued a press release in response to a new book, "The Truth about Cheating" by Gary Neuman who says the top reason men cheat is because they feel underappreciated by their woman. As a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I feel that this is an outrage because again men are trying to let themselves off the hook by laying the blame on women, trying to make women feel guilty because they aren't doing enough for their man. Marriage counselor and author, Gary Neuman says women are to blame when men cheat. He says the no. 1 reason men cheat is "feeling underappreciated - a lack of thoughtful gestures" by the woman. He says cheaters are not the bad, rotten guys; "they can also be nice guys that get lost and do the wrong thing." Just like the lady who tried to remove personal responsibility by saying "everyone does it", here is another person, Gary Neuman who removes the responsibility of infidelity from the man who cheated and places it right in the lap of the woman by claiming that it is women's responsibility to build up the man and make him feel valued because Neuman claims that is what men are searching for and expecting from women.

The dictionary defines "responsible" as: 1. Answerable or accountable, as for something within one's power, control, or management; 2. Chargeable with being the author, cause, or occasion of something. I view responsibility as being the creator or cause of something. In an interview last week, on ABC's "20/20" with Barbara Walters, Peter Cook former husband of supermodel Christie Brinkley, blamed Brinkley for his affair: "I wanted a little acknowledgment, a little attention, a little thank-you every now and then for my efforts, for the amount of time I took to care for her and my family, for the wealth I was building."

The key point here is to understand that no matter how someone leaves you feeling or 'makes' you feel, the way you respond to that feeling is your choice. Peter Cook refused to accept that he was the creator of the outcome, of his own actions. Peter Cook could have communicated with his wife instead of sleeping with another woman, particularly an eighteen year-old girl. In his book, Gary Neuman even cites a case where the husband had regular sex and the emotional connection with his wife but still had an affair. The bottom line is we all have choices in every moment and the real man has power over himself - he exerts self-control, discipline and knows how to say no or walk away from the temptation. The real man doesn't expect a woman or anyone else to validate him; he validates himself. The real man doesn't blame someone else for his actions. Ultimately, we all need be accountable by looking at our own situations and determining how we created our outcome and results via our choices and actions so that we can make better choices in the future. I wish you the best and remind you "Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!"

Who am I?

I am a Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert. I provide Quit Smoking Hypnosis programs and many other Hypnosis programs.

Phantom Limb Syndrome - Pain & Sensation Following Amputation By Kellieanne McMillan

The idea that a person can retain an awareness of an amputated limb may not be surprising but to consider the claim that a missing limb can still move and feel intense pain raises both serious questions and skeptical eyebrows. How can a person feel pain in a limb that no longer exists? A residual consciousness of a dismembered limb in the form of sensation, movement and even pain is the essence of phantom limb syndrome.

Yet despite such historical cynicism, phantom limb syndrome is now widely accepted in the scientific community owing to a wealth of clinical studies and modern experimental evidence using advanced neuroimaging techniques (Bear et. al, 2006). Scrutiny of this phenomenon has yielded valuable insights into both the mechanics of brain function and our understanding of pain perception while revealing enticing clues as to how the human brain constructs our conscious experience.

Phantom limb syndrome is differentiated into three general areas according to the nature of the experience: phantom awareness (including sensations such as touch, temperature, vibration and pressure); phantom movement (either 'voluntary', like waving or 'involuntary', like pains and needles); and phantom pain, which can be distinguished from residual stump pain as a distinct pain of any form that seems to emanate from where the arm or leg used to be (Flor et al, 1995). It is also known to affect the majority of amputees irrespective of age, gender or site of amputation (Bear et al, 2006).

It is important to define phantom awareness as more than just an arbitrary 'sense' that the limb is still present. Despite connotations of the supernatural in its name, the value of studying phantom limb comes from the fact that it is the product of a tangible event in the sensory cortex, a fact that has been verified through detection of electrical activity in the missing limb areas of the brain using magnetoencephalography (Brugger et al, 2000; MacIver et al, 2008). Phantom limbs give rise to experience such as vibrations, perceptions of hot and cold and even more complex sensations like 'trickling' of water (Ramachandran, 1998; Bear et. al, 2006). Since no sensory input can be originating from the body - the limb of course being absent -it suggests that the quality of these subjective experiences is independent of a physical contribution.

Phantom movement is known to affect approximately 80% of amputees and can take many forms (Finger, 2001). For example, a patient called Tom who had his arm amputated just above the elbow following a car accident described being able to use his phantom arm to reach out for items such as the telephone receiver (Ramachandran, 1998). Admiral Lord Nelson claimed that he could feel fingernails digging into his phantom hand and was able to pull his arm away (Herman, 1998). Other patients describe phantom movement such spontaneous jerking, swinging arms while walking and gesticulating hand movements when talking (Bear et al, 2006; Finger et al, 2001). Such a diverse spectrum of symptoms establishes the subjective experiential nature of phantom movement.

The phenomenon of phantom pain presents many challenges, particularly with regards to the clinical aspect of medical treatment. How do you treat localised pain in a tissue that no longer exists? Pharmacological treatment involves a host of drugs (e.g. anti-depressants, pain-killers and analgesics) but specific combinations are largely experimental and they do not relieve phantom pain in the long-term (Flor, 2002). This is a dilemma both from the patients and the physician's perspective. Staggering incidence rates of up to 80% of amputees suffer from chronic phantom pain and treatment has been "notoriously difficult" (Flor, 2002). As a result, phantom limb pain has had a lasting impact on medical science as it endeavours to understand the underlying mechanisms to find an adequate prevention or treatment.

Some studies suggest that phantom pain is caused by inflammation of nerve endings in the stump but treatment by further amputation only alleviates the pain temporarily and often returns with greater ferocity (Melzack, 1990). Some suggest that the remaining nerves send physical signals through the spinal chord which are then misinterpreted by the brain as originating from the missing limb (Melzack, 1990). Other theories suggest that phantom pain may be a type of reminiscence or 'memory imprint' of pain felt in the real arm before amputation. It was this latter theory that gained the most popular support as a number of influential studies suggested a correlation between pre and post amputation pain (e.g. Katz et al, 1996). Yet there is some compelling evidence to indicate why these 'explanations' for phantom limb pain do not tell the whole story. Whereas explanations based on learned memories or a relationship to pre-operative pain may explain phantom pain in amputees, the recognition that phantom limb occurs in people born without limbs implies that pain perception originates from the brain itself and there is an innate mechanism for experiencing it which is not dependant on our body (Flor, 2002).

This observation has had a significant impact on modern pain theory. It directly challenges prevailing theories based on Descartes specificity theory which state that pain is expressed through the brain from received signals of injury to the body (Benini & DeLeo, 1999). Since phantom limb pain arises without sensory signals from the body, it strongly indicates that it is the brain itself, and not our body, which plays the central role in pain perception.

Current explanations for phantom limb syndrome are based around Wilder Penfield's homunculus. In the 1950's he demonstrated that specific areas of the sensory cortex tissue in the brain will activate specific areas of the body and there is in fact a precise map on the surface of brain which corresponds to each and every part of the human body (Bear et al, 2006). The relationship between this cortical map and phantom limb syndrome was discovered in the last decade by V.S. Ramachandran (Bear et al, 2006). He knew from Penfield's research that the area corresponding to the human hand on the brain lies directly beside the face area. He also knew that unrelated animal research had verified 're-mapping' of brain regions that had been deprived of sensory input from the corresponding limb (Pons 1987, 1991). He hypothesised that if the unused hand area in the human brain had re-wired to the face area, then phantom limb sensation could arise from constant movement of the face: a misinterpretation of the origin of the signal (Ramachandran, 1998).

This idea was revolutionary because it contradicted the central dogma of neurology which stated that the neuronal circuitry of the human brain was fixed (Bear et al, 2006). Ramachandran tested his theory by touching his patient Tom's face and asking him to report where he could feel the sensation on his body. As suspected, the patient reported feeling the touch both in his face and his phantom hand. In fact, Ramachandran was able to sketch out an entire detailed map of Tom's phantom hand on his face (Ramachandran, 1998). Subsequent tests using magnetoencephalography verified these results by showing that the brain area previously responding to sensory input in the patient's hand was now re-mapped to fire in the adjacent face area, just as it had re-mapped in the monkey studies (Ramachandran, 2000).

The discovery of this cortical plasticity from phantom limb research offers an experimental method of investigation into how phantom pain is represented in the brain: if phantom pain arises from erroneous re-mapping, could the pain be alleviated by reorganisation or correction of the map? After all, if the brain can re-wire in one direction with such malleability then it can be assumed to be equally flexible in the opposite direction (Flor et al, 1995; 2006). Current endeavours to find treatments for phantom pain are based on this idea (Flor, 2007).

The various insights gained from the research described in this paper emphasise the value of studying such mind-brain anomalies like phantom pain. Analysis of such neurological 'abnormalities' presents a convenient opportunity to investigate normal brain function without the need for invasive surgery. In addition to its contribution in a medical and scientific context as outlined, it also has much broader significance for our understanding of human perception. Phantom limb tells us that conscious experience like touch and movement do not require our physical body or input from the physical world. It tells us that their must be an innate or "genetically determined substrate" for sensation that can be modified by sensory input but is not dependant on it (Melzack, 1990). Moreover, it begs the question: if our brain can detect our body parts regardless if they are there are not, what other aspects of our reality are merely constructed by the brain?

The significance of phantom pain research to such fundamental questions about the nature of human consciousness is clear when considered in the context of related research. For example, observations of phantom limb have been used to formulate other theories pertaining to other subjective experiences such as sound, colour and numbers. In a condition named synaesthesia, the quality of colour is actually experienced as a sound and sometimes instead of seeing a number they instead see a colour. Realising that the processing areas for these sensations are next to each other in the brain - just like Tom's phantom hand and face - scientists were able to predict the same sort of re-mapping that exists in phantom limb syndrome (Rouw & Scholte, 2007; Rich et al, 2005; Ramachandran, 2005). Current research is extending such insights from phantom limb research into understanding more intricate areas of the human experience such as memory (Yaro & Ward 2007), language (Ramachandran, 2005) and even the concept of time (Smilek et al, 2007). Therefore, perhaps the most significant element of phantom research is its impact on brain function research and its influence on opening up our minds to discover the substance of our own consciousness.

Author: Kellieanne McMillan (Glasgow University, BSc Neuroscience)